There’s not many days on our IVF journey where we’ve been pleasantly surprised.
The highs and lows
I can count them on one hand, actually, although the good news was always followed by bad:
- IVF cycle one – having 30+ follicles on our second stim scan (but only getting three mature eggs – biggest bummer ever)
- IVF cycle one – having one Grade A expanding blastocyst on day five (everything was riding on this one embryo but it didn’t implant)
- IVF cycle two – AFC baseline scan – 18 follicles (but only nine responded to stims, with a dominant follicle on one ovary)
- IVF cycle two – day three, having five embryos still in the running (but only two 4BC quality blasts on day five)
- IVF cycle two – 7DP5DT – faint line on pregnancy test (but the line faded to nothing over the following two days).
With any highs we’ve experienced, there has been a massive corresponding low. So I’ve learned not to get too excited about anything when it comes to IVF.
Today is a good day
This morning, we had good news. We still have eight embryos in the running, and the quality hasn’t dropped since yesterday! We’ve got:
- 4 embryos with 8 cells of quality 1-2
- 4 embryos with 6 cells of quality 1-2.
We found out the above at 9am today. I was expecting the email at 11am, like yesterday, so it was a shock when it came through so early. Our co-ordinator said between six and eight cells is what they’d expect at this stage, so it feels like everything is progressing well. Yippee!
I am over the moon, but still pretty anxious. I’m stressing because I’m worried the ones with six are developing too slowly and the eights have developed from the six and five cell embryos that we had on day two, so I’m questioning shouldn’t the eights actually be from the four cell ones? Because optimal egg development is four cells day two and eight cells day three, according to plenty of posts I’ve read online. None of ours have done that.
The other stress is the male factor side of embryo development kicks in from day three, and so – as we have issues in this area – I’m worried the eggs will all start arresting. But because we’re having a day four transfer, we probably won’t know which ones are slowing down (as many do) and so we may be lulled into a false sense of security. We might think that we have all these great embryos still going tomorrow (if they are) but, in reality, we’d have way fewer if it was day five.
Does any of the above make sense? I feel like anyone who reads this will be like ‘what are you bloody on about?’. You are crazy! You have eight viable embryos of great quality – this is the best you’ve ever had. Enjoy this feeling right now and stop fretting. In two weeks’ time, you might be pregnant!
But of course I can’t think like that really, because success rates are so low, especially at my age. It’s something like 30%, maybe even less. That properly sucks. However, what I’m most chuffed about is that I feel we have a fair chance this time. Round one and two were crappy, with more twists and turns than the proverbial rollercoaster. This time feels easier – everything has just fallen into place. Perhaps this is our time.
Be here now
Like today, for example. For the first time all week, the sun is properly shining. It’s less cold than it’s been, and I’m looking forward to going out and enjoying a day in Prague with a feeling of hope inside me, rather than despair.
Tomorrow is another day – transfer day – and we may find we only have a couple of good quality embryos left at that point. We may have none. But today, we have eight and I’m going to enjoy this strange optimistic feeling for as long as I can.
Thought for the day
It’s easy to be positive when things are going well, isn’t it?