I’m now 39 weeks pregnant, and there are five days to go until my due date. How on earth did that happen? It’s all a bit surreal! I’m still busy working my way through my to-do list (organising all my photos, tax return, cleaning/tidying…) but I’m getting there. My attitude up to this point has been I need to finish my to-do list, and then I’ll be ready for the baby. And now it’s FIVE DAYS away and, of course, the baby could come at any minute. But I still don’t feel ready. Does anyone?
Times are strange. We’re coming to the end of week five of lockdown in the UK. The sun is shining non-stop, and has done for a month, which is so un-April-like. It’s like groundhog day, every day. My husband continues to work from home. I’ve been keeping reasonably busy around the house, and getting out for my government-allotted exercise. Every other day, I go for a long 10,000 step-walk, which always tires me out but it feels good that I am still mobile, even though I’m 39 weeks pregnant. I’m trying to mix up ‘work’ (organising, cleaning, exercise etc) and pleasure (watching a bit of telly, reading, baking) but I struggle with the relaxing bit. If I’m not achieving, I feel I’m going backwards. However, I’m going to make a conscious decision from now on to wind down as I’ll need all my strength for the birth!
Keeping in touch
I don’t miss the nature of my work (long hours, constant change, fast pace) but I do miss the interaction. Although, conversely, I am also feeling incredibly anti-social. The lockdown suits me, to be honest. I can’t go shopping or see people, or do all the things I would be forcing myself to do to be ‘productive’ and making the ‘most’ of my maternity leave. The enforced self-isolation has helped me recharge my batteries, although I do feel quite anxious at the moment. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m not seeing people, don’t have my normal distractions (work, exercise) or if it’s just the anticipation of birth/a baby, but I’m definitely more on edge than I normally would be.
Along with (seemingly) everyone else, I have been using Zoom to keep in touch with folk. For the last three weeks, I’ve been speaking to my mom and her husband for about an hour at a time, which is actually lovely. One of my regrets over the last few years is that I don’t speak to them enough. I’ve become quite anti-phone, which is ironic as I used to spend every night glued to the house phone as a teenager. But I can’t bear it now. However, video calls are a little less bad and I always feel better for the connection afterwards. We’re also doing regular quizzes with my husband’s family, and I’ve caught up with a few friends on calls and WhatsApp, so I’m probably being more sociable than ever!
I feel huge and fit to pop, but I’m not sure whether I am that big or not in reality for women at 39 weeks pregnant. I’m still getting lots of movement, although I don’t think the baby’s head is engaged yet. My hands are increasingly achy (carpal tunnel syndrome I think), my feet are fatter (my Converse no longer fit) and my lips are fuller (this is a nice side effect!). In the last few days I’ve felt a few period-type pains, but nothing comes of them. I am also hugely irritable and grumpy – and beyond emotional. One of my cats came into the house with a squirrel in her mouth yesterday and I cried and cried about the unfairness of it all. I’m very up and down: super tired and lethargic one moment, and non-stop go-go-go the next. My sleep has been erratic – luckily I’ve had a couple of decent nights over the past few days, but I wake up in the middle of the night most nights.
On our Zoom call yesterday, my husband’s family put on bets about baby names, the birth date and weight. We have a name in mind, and their guesses weren’t half bad, but no one got it (spoiler: Daisy and Cleopatra are not in the running). For the birth date, most guesses were after May 1 (the official due date), which is more than likely, but my husband and his mom are both going for early next week – eek! I’m hoping for May, personally, so we’ll see. Weight guesses were pretty much all in the 7lb category, and I was on my own in predicting over 8lb.
It’s so nice that everyone is so excited for us, and getting into the spirit. I just wish I felt more excited. I’m more anxious than anything now. I just want the baby to be OK. We have been through so much to have her and she really is a miracle. The only thing that matters really is that she comes out safe and sound. I predict she will, and that the birth will be fine, but you just never know.