2ww – more than half way through

Categories Jessop's (Sheffield)

Here’s how the first half of this cycle’s two week wait panned out.

Day 0 – 10 eggs collected (three on the right, seven on the left). One more than expected!

Day 1 – nine eggs suitable for ICSI, five fertilised. This is a 55% fertilisation rate (the average rate, depending on your source, seems to be around 70%) so OK.

Day 2 – hope and pray those five embryos survive.

Day 3 – astonished to hear all five are still going! But when I ask about quality, the embryologist says they’re all ‘nice’ and developing well. I immediate hear ‘average’ in my head. She also said cells were between four and nine, and that we should expect most of them to drop off. However, they want us to do a day five transfer. Feeling pleased yet anxious and worried about the quality.

Day 4 – rest day!

Day 5 – me and my husband waited with baited breath for the call from Jessops. It came around 9am. I didn’t hear the phone call as I was downstairs when my other half received it. He called my name, came down and my heart was in my mouth. ‘There’s two blastocysts left,’ he said. ‘But they’re B/C quality. They said you can have both transferred today if you want.’

This kinda wasn’t a massive shock from the ‘nice’ comment about the remaining embryos’ quality on day three, but still… rather than being pleased there were two left, I felt utterly despondent. There’s no way they would transfer two if they thought there was a chance of them implanting given my age, I thought, as I burst into tears. At least there are two. I felt total shame to be crying for having two embryos, when should be grateful for having anything at all. Still, cry I did. I went off to my acupuncturist appointment, which I hate, and vowed never to waste my money on voluntarily having needles stuck all over my body again. (She tried to make me come after the transfer, but I declined.)

We had the transfer at 12 noon. I remember the embryologist showing me a photo of our two blastocysts that basically looked deformed, fragmented and empty of cells. Grreeeeeat, I thought. They’re transferring the ugly twins – dumb and dumber. Spent the journey from Windsor to Sheffield googling ‘B/C success stories’ and got angry at all the women bleating on about how disappointed they were with ‘A/B’ and ‘B/B’ graded blasts, and how many of them had frozen back-ups. Yet again, this was our one and only shot this cycle. (Or should I say two shots?)

D1p5dt – other than a few pings and pangs, no symptoms. Obviously furiously googling, even though I promised myself I wouldn’t do that this time.

D2p5dt – nothing to report.

D3p5dt – midday, I felt cramps. I was talking to someone at work, and I felt the sensation – a bit like period pain. Inside I was like ‘Yay!!! Implant pains?’ Lasted most of the day. Also had a slight headache.

D4p5dt – felt a few more cramps today, but less so. (.)(.) feeling tender. These are good signs!

D5p5dt – no symptoms to report. Feeling more optimistic. Proud of myself for not testing. Going to try and last the rest of the time now.

D6p5dt – woke up with full, sensitive ( . )( . ). No other symptoms except maybe, at a real push, a bit of nausea? But that’s pushing it. Until about 7pm when I started feeling that familiar flicker of period pains down below. Oh no, I thought. These were full on period pains rather than the cramping I felt earlier in the week. ( . ) ( . ) still sensitive. OK, well that’s something. Was knackered, so went to bed early, only to take up 11:30pm absolutely boiling hot. Check my (.)(.) – not sensitive any more. Sense of impending doom. Go for a wee. No sign of period so far. Lie awake for a good couple of hours until I finally manage to drift off. Pretty sure it’s all over.

D7p5dt – woke up, and (.)(.) are definitely less sensitive, but still clinging on to a bit of sensation. Walked to work and felt unbelievably hot, like the night before. Came in sweating. Not sure whether that’s a sign of my period or something else. Not really holding out much hope now. Although the period pains have gone.

What will happen next, I wonder… let’s find out.

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